Dear reader, TW: Life, abuse, depression and a long long read It has been a long time since I wrote here and I am not sure if I will write here again but this seemed like a good place to park my thoughts. It has been weeks of deep anguish and in between all that I planned a trip to this city to meet friends and the children I worked with. I wanted to leave the anguish behind before I arrived. I wanted to speak to the person who I thought the anguish was linked to and they generously gave me their time. But it was still there. When the plane touched down, I felt something shift in my stomach like my body was saying you are protected, you have always been and you can do this.