Getting offline and the gift of attention

dear reader,

hello! This is another short easy email with links because the intense thing that I want to write doesn’t want to be written. Okay, it has changed by the time I wrote it out. So I hope you’ll give me the most important thing we have to give each other - attention.

It has been about 5 months since I uninstalled Instagram, I still get on it on my computer but I can say that it doesn’t pull me in as much. There are days when I stay for long, I don’t control my impulses but I am bored quickly. Slowly , I may be breaking this habit.

Of course, I have built other habits like being on YouTube way more and three days ago I finally got myself a Netflix a/c to watch Adolescence (for work, working on a project on masculinity) and I have spent so much time watching Apple Cider Vinegar, Bad Influence (I love true crime) and one of my favourite Malayalam films - Thallumaala.

But beyond that I have been pushing myself to go out every weekend. I have an hyperactive brain and it needs a lot of things to chew on and it needs to be thrilled about various things to focus on work and stay away from getting morose and start self destructing. So two of the things I have been doing is going out and consuming art and cooking. And this newsletter is about that. But before that I want to share something I heard Kathak dancer, Sanjukta Wagh say about attention:

She talks about how people say, how someone is a gifted dancer and goes on to ask —what is a gift? She says she was not a natural dancer but still stuck with it. She says the thing that makes you stick is only Riyaz (practice or I’d define Riyaz as showing up). She says, that all of us have just one gift — that’s the gift of our attention. “What are you attending to? How are you attending to? We live in a world in which, everyone’s stealing away our attention, a device is stealing away our attention. People are making money of our attentions. And what does Riyaz do, Riyaz makes you attend to your inner being, not just your body but also your subtle body and your connection to something larger, that helps you plug and consistent Riyaz makes you sharpen your muscle of attention. Attention is a muscle and most of us don’t have it because we are constantly dilly-dallying, moving …”

And this made complete sense to me. Getting off Instagram has meant building my muscle of attention. Though it does take me to things that are rotting inside of me and I wish there was a way to numb the pain. Instagram did that. It kept me entertained and numbed my pain. Now I am learning to tend to it and entertain myself in new ways and I am beginning to find Instagram boring and nothing close to what offline world has to offer.

I reached Sanjukta’s interview because I went to watch Akram Khan Company perform GIGENIS — where an ensemble of seven renowned Indian classical dancers danced (including Akram himself) while seven live Indian Classical musicians played. Though Gigenis didn’t touch me emotionally, I couldn’t get over the dancing, music and I came home and decided to take my Kathak Riyaz more seriously (music I do almost like prayer, sometimes even in a cab to the airport). I also started looking up Akram Khan on YouTube and found this:

I’d like to build my multimedia performance - Mapping Desire - somewhat like this someday. Akram Khan led me to look up Kapila Venu ( also part of Gigenis), Koodiyattam and Nangiar Koothu artist and their absolutely gorgeous Natanakairali centre in Thrissur. Not that I have any skill but I am convinced I should go attend G Venu’s Navarasa Sadhana workshop because of how gorgeous this centre in my mum’s home district is.

Like Sanjukta says the two things I have been attending to are my excitement for food and for engaging in art that others are producing.

Last weekend, we went to hear Radhika Sood sing Baisakhi songs. It was so beautiful, so intimate and she made us sing Punjabi songs with her.

radhikasoodnayak

A post shared by @radhikasoodnayak

As we entered the space, there was Matthi, Shakarpara and tea. We were all given a booklet of songs that she would sing, the Punjabi words were explained. She also initiated us into Baisakhi songs by telling us stories, both personal and of socio-political importance. People danced while she was singing. One of the song of a Baisakhi fair was of a halwai marketing his sweets especially to a city bred woman. He talks about the samose, jalebis and asks her to sample a milk cake. It was such a beautiful song and we did feel like having everything that the song talked about. And guess what when we were leaving, we were given a box of assorted goodies and we were told that there was a surprise. When we opened the gift, other than samose, jalebis and other savouries, there was a small bit of milk cake for us to sample. More than Radhika’s gorgeous voice, the thought that went it to make this event so intimate made it really special. She plans to do these meets more often, you could look up her Instagram.

Also, I can’t not send you the song:

Last Saturday, my music teacher asked me if I’d like to practice with a tabla player. I went. I restarted music class after singing with my friend Sruthi for some time and then just learning songs everyday.

At my teacher’s house, I met an 81 year old tabla player who was so curious, enthusiastic and eager to learn at 81 too. He reminded me of my dad who will turn 82 this June, only unlike my father this man was also super appreciative and encouraging. I had so much fun singing with my teacher while she played the harmonium and he played the tabla. He kept saying, “You have such good understanding of Taal because you have been learning Kathak.” (I think I suck at Kathak but I show up nevertheless.) He explained what he was playing. It was such fun that I came home and sang the same song the whole day. At 81 , he wants to learn the harmonium. My teacher wants me to learn the harmonium too, she says it helps with singing but I’m not convinced, also I don’t find it melodious. Here’s us singing:

Talking about the harmonium, in a wonderful workshop on Kathak and music by dancer and researcher Siddhi Goel, I found out that:

During the Swadeshi movement in India, the harmonium, an instrument of European origin, faced backlash and was seen as a symbol of foreign influence despite its widespread use in Indian music. This rejection, fueled by nationalist sentiments and a push for self-reliance, led to calls for the instrument's exclusion from Indian society and its eventual ban from All-India Radio.

I also found out the cleansing of Kathak from all things tawaifs (courtesan) including the Sarangi because it had a Kotha association. I also found that the term "thumri" is derived from the Hindi verb thumuknaa, which means "to walk with a dancing gait” and in Vidya Rao’s words - “thumak ke rijhana - gale se nirat karna.” I also looked up several thumris by Nawab Wajid Ali Shah (a major patron of the Kathak who learned the dance himself) which I’m not sharing right now but you can find some in Satyajit
Ray’s Shatranj Ke Khilari.

I expected this to be a short newsletter but there’s so much more to say. Like please go for the exhibition at this new art gallery at Chowpatty called am the collective, they are showing Spanish artist - Mersuka Dopazo’s fab work.

Mersuka has been working with underprivileged children in India for some time and some of their drawings make it to her art work. Just look at this blue hat or that kid’s shoes.

The couple who own the gallery are also very warm and the gallery is in a beautiful building facing the chowpatty called La Kozy Mansion. It has a gorgeous balcony and of course we got ourselves on it.

Pic from here: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:La_Kozy_Mansion.JPG
You can read more about this building here: https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/tales-from-a-clock-tower-across-the-sands-22143169

Now that I am not online as much, I also see that I don’t always feel I need to catch up and I have been cooking a lot and while cooking I don’t feel like I am wasting my time or without worrying that I am going to fail at making something. Today, I made an Italian cookie called Baci di Dama (lady’s kiss).

I first ate at the Zen cafe in Kala Ghoda. The ingredients are expensive because it has hazelnut flour but it is yummy and looks beautiful.

And since it is Mango season, I am leaving you with a mango salsa recipe. I also found out that salsa means sauce in Spanish.

<3
Indu